To the Tavern We Go
by Obsessive Stalkers Anonymous
Summary: A group of girls fall unknowingly into the portal to Middle Earth, and they find that life in this orc and Ring Wraith infested world is not at all as they imagined. Death is very much real, especially when they realize there is no way to return home.
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer**: We own nothing.

**A/N**: This is a story of what things would truly be like if someone were to be transferred to Middle Earth. It's not all fun in games. It's far different from what is displayed with such excitement and glory in the Lord of the Rings movies. It starts off with a group of teenie girls (though they would be quick to deny it), all in hype of the Fellowship of the Ring, when they fall through a portal to Middle Earth. What they find is not at all as sweet and happy as they thought it would be. The girls change when they realize that death and suffering is very much real, and there is a chance that they will never return home again.

In the mean time, you teenie haters out there, please read and cringe your way through this first chapter. It's written this way to prove a point, I swear. It's a progression thing. And all of you teenies out there, please read carefully, especially the chapters to come. If you feel exceptionally peaky, take notes. This story is attempting to save Tolkien's brilliant story from the hands of fan girls wanting their chance at Legolas.

            "RAAAAWWWWK!"

            It was the typical Saturday morning; four girls were strewn over a living room in sleeping bags and twisted pajamas after a long night of watching Frodo being chased by Ring Wraiths (a favorite tradition for a late Friday night), and as always, the family bird, at the sign of the rising sun, rustled it's feathers, and screamed.

            Simultaneous groans were heard familiarly across the room, and the traditional answer was muttered, "Rachelle, I'm going to fry your bird for breakfast."

            Rachelle, who was curled up in a ball of warped sleeping-bag, mumbled, "Be my guest, Lisa."

            "I hate Pippin," another half-dead voice groaned.

            "I agree, Abbie," grunted Lisa. "That bird should die."

            An indecipherable jumble of moans and grunts came from the love seat.

            "True that, Kellie," muttered Abbie.

            The four girls tried to ignore the evil high-pitched squawking of the cockatiel Pippin, and were almost successful if Rachelle's dog didn't have to pee.

            "Aw, come on," cried Lisa. She rolled over on the couch and dropped her hand on Rachelle's head. "Rache – Penny's howling."

            "I'm aware of that," grunted Rachelle.

            "What time is it?" asked Kellie from the other couch.

            "Too early," said Lisa.

            "7:30," answered Abbie, who had sat up from the other side of Rachelle and looked at the clock.

            There was another round of groans and cries.

            "Try to ignore them," said Kellie.

            The phone rang.

            "I give up!" cried Rachelle. She kicked her sleeping bag that she used solely as a blanket away from her, and wearily pulled herself to her feet. She staggered into the kitchen, kicked her whimpering dog outside, and then answered the phone.

            "'lo?"

            "Hey, Rache, it's Vikki," said the annoyingly cheerful and awake voice from the other end.

            "Hi, Vikki," said Rachelle. "We just woke up. I can't remember why you aren't here…"

            "Dusti and I have an FEA meeting at school this morning," Vikki sighed. "Mrs. Ricky refused to call it off due to the snow.."

            "Sucks to be you," said Rachelle.

            "I was calling to make sure it was okay if we still came over this afternoon, after the meeting sometime… it is okay still, right?"

            "Yeah, sure. We'll be around… Lisa said something about frying Pippin for breakfast – we'll be occupied without you."

            "Great. Well, I'll let you go back to sleep now," said Vikki. "We'll see you this afternoon. Bye."

            "Bye."

            Rachelle dropped the phone back on the receiver and shuffled back into the living room. Her three friends were now wiping the sleep from their eyes and stretching.

            "Vikki and Dusti are coming over later," said Rachelle. She fell into her pillow and laid there.

            "Shame she couldn't come over last night," said Abbie, who now sounded as awake and cheerful as Vikki did. "She missed the entire movie. God, I love Legolas."

            "Fight you for him," said Lisa, staring Abbie down like a hawk protects his kill.

            "I'm partial to Pippin," muffled Rachelle into her pillow. "And I'm not talking about my bird. Elves are too tall for me. I'd get nose-bleeds if I ever tried sucking face with one."

            "I wouldn't let you suck face with Legolas," smiled Abbie slyly. "That's my job."

            Lisa took her pillow and whacked Abbie across the face with it.

            Kellie and Rachelle groaned.

            The pillow fight ended in a short three minutes, after Rachelle stood up and snatched the couch pillows they were using to whack each other with. "Anybody up for going outside?" she said. She scratched the back of her sloppy thick blonde hair and forced a smile on her face. "The swamps I know have frozen over."

            "Yes, I'm all in for it," cried Abbie, jumping up. "In the mean time, we can look for the portal. I'd love to get out of this place!"

            "Oh, I would too," sighed Lisa, longingly. "A portal to Middle Earth, where I can have Legolas all to myself."

            "Any place out of this dump will be awesome," said Rachelle. "Though, I must say, finding the portal to Middle Earth in my back yard is… well, good luck."

            Kellie pulled herself off the love seat and ruffled her already messy short red hair. "I'm up for swamp skating."

            "Rock on," smiled Abbie.

            The four of them threw on pants and sweaters, and got ready for the trek they would soon be taking in Rachelle's forest surrounding her house. They even went as far as packing "emergency sacks" which consisted of potato chips, candy, a band-aid, cd's, gum, and any other random thing all stuffed into their school book-bags.

            "Should I bring my swords?" asked Abbie hopefully, holding one of her swords that she bought from the local flee market in her hands fondly.

            "No," said Rachelle. She hitched her bag over her shoulder and led Lisa and Kellie outside. Abbie frowned. Somewhat disheartened, she tossed her sword onto the couch and followed her friends out the door.

            The typical Saturday continued. The four friends found themselves in the frozen swamps of Rachelle's back yard, cracking corny jokes about whatever came to mind, and laughed furiously of how they would act if they ever were to make it to Middle Earth. Abbie swore she'd fling herself into battle, her head and sword held bravely high, to protect the liberty of Tolkien's world. Lisa was sure she'd fling herself into Legolas' arms. Rachelle and Kellie declared that they were cause mayhem along with and Meriadoc. How awesome it would be to leave the world as they knew it and dwell with the elves and hobbits!

             After about an hour of giggling and inventing ultimately pointless scenarios of pissing off Ring Wraiths, the girls began to tire.

            "I'm freezing," said Kellie, burying herself deep in her Good Charlotte hoodie. "I've had enough swamp skating. Who's up for going back to the house for hot chocolate?"

            "Me," said Rachelle instantly.

            Lisa and Abbie frowned. "But we haven't found the portal yet," they muttered.

            "You're actually taking that seriously?" said Rachelle. "As great as having the portal to Middle Earth in my back yard would be, it's very much impossible. Elves are fake."

            Abbie and Lisa stared at her as if she uttered a nasty swear word. "You have spoken blasphemy," whispered Lisa, her left eye twitching.

            "Why are we still here?" said Kellie, looking homeward. "We could be drinking hot chocolate by now."

            "Let's go then," said Rachelle gratefully. Her toes were numbing from trampling through frozen snow and ice, and she could no longer feel her face. She led the group back the way they came from. A few steps into it, Rachelle's foot fell through the ice, soaking her. She yanked it out and backed into her friends. "Crap. The ice is breaking."

            Kellie rolled her eyes. "It's not as if we're on a Great Lake here," she said.

            "I don't want to freeze in dirty swamp water, thanks," retorted Lisa, looking worried. "Let's get out of here."

            Abbie pushed passed them. "We can use this fallen tree branch as a bridge." She kicked at a thin and feeble looking stick she called the fallen tree branch and smiled. "Anybody with me?"

            The other three girls looked at each other and shrugged. "No else getting around it," said Lisa. Abbie's grin broadened and stepped shakily onto the thin log. She flailed her arms violently, and her friends waited for her to fall. But she regained her balance and laughed.

            "Should be easy," she said.

            Lisa rolled her eyes and stepped onto the branch behind her. "Get moving already then!"

            Rachelle and Kellie stepped onto the log soon after. "This is dumb," said Rachelle. "We we're going to fall."

            "No we're not," said Abbie. "We're fine."

            "We haven't even moved yet and I can feel this log turning."

            "Then we'll walk faster," said Abbie.

            Lisa, Kellie, and Rachelle watched as Abbie carefully picked up her right leg and gingerly placed it back down again in front of her left.

            The part of the log she had stepped on was obvious rotten, for her foot fell right through it. Abbie screamed as she collapsed backwards into Lisa's legs. Lisa went down, and all four girls were thrown from the log and onto the ice. The ice broke on contact and Abbie, Lisa, Kellie, and Rachelle disappeared into the swampy waters, and never resurfaced.

            Back at Rachelle's house, a minivan pulled into the driveway, and two girls stepped out of it carrying Code Red Mountain Dew and Doritos.

            Vikki knocked on the door, and frowned when nobody answered it. The lights inside were off, and there was no sign of her friends anywhere. She looked to Dusti and shrugged. "They're not here."

            "Wait," said Dusti. She pointed to a swarm of footprints made in the snow that were leading into the woods. "Should we follow?"

            Vikki grinned. She tossed her food onto the porch swing, and she and Dusti hurried into Rachelle's forest looking for the four missing, adventuring girls.

            The Code Red and Doritos waited in vain, for their two mistresses never came back to reclaim them.


	2. Chapter Two

To The Tavern We Go  
  
By: The OSA  
  
Cold.  
  
Very cold.  
  
Those were the only two thoughts that registered in Lisa's mind as she awoke. She groaned and curled herself into a ball, not bothering to open her eyes. Her attempt to return to the blissful realm of sleep was futile, however, as her groggy brain registered one new fun fact for her;  
  
Wet.  
  
What the buggering heck? She thought, confused. Why was she cold and wet? It didn't make sense. Then again, very little made sense to the girl in the morning. She groaned again and tried to force open her eyes. It didn't work. Every time she tried to open her lead filled eyelids her head began to pound, and she suddenly felt unexplainably sick to her stomach. Frick. This can't be good.  
  
A similar moan from nearby alerted Lisa that she wasn't alone. It sounded as weak as she felt, but it was clearly human. The muffled curses that followed identified it as Kellie. "Someone tell the NHL to stop doing figure eights on my cranium," groaned the same voice, sounding only marginally stronger.  
  
"Only if you get off of me," came a muffled voice that sounded very much like Abbie. The soft scuffling sound told the girl that Kellie had tried to comply, though the moaning didn't sound promising.  
  
Lisa forced herself to sit up, and almost didn't make it as the pounding in her head intensified and nearly overcame her. She wrapped her arms around her knees and cradled her head on her knees, moaning piteously.  
  
"What happened?" Abbie muttered.  
  
"Obviously we fell into the swamp," grunted Rachelle, speaking up for the first time. She sounded just as cold and sick as the rest of them.  
  
"I think I'm going to be sick..." Kellie whined, speaking for all of them.  
  
"Sorry," Rachelle grunted again, extremely disoriented.  
  
"Why is the sky spinning like that?" Abbie's voice sounded softer and farther away then it had when she had been under Kellie.  
  
No one answered. No one wanted to risk speaking and throwing up in the process. Lisa chanced a glance around her, and though she nearly blinded herself in the process, she caught sight of their surroundings. She whimpered, very much confused, and buried her head in her arms instead. Moving suddenly seemed very intimidating.  
  
Snow. They were surronded by snow. A lot of it, as in way more than Jersey had the right to get buried under. Icy wind whipped past the girls, bringing with it unending whirls of snow. That explained the cold and wet part.  
  
Not to mention that they were on an insanely narrow ledge on what appeared to be a mountain side. And Lisa was perched right near the edge. Petrified and unable to make herself move, she whimpered again and sat as still as she could. Which was no longer easy, as the wind cut through her clothes and made her shiver.  
  
"Lisa, what's your probl-" Kellie stopped, gasping as she finally got her eyes to focus and take a look around. "You guys - I don't think we're in Rachelle's swamp anymore."  
  
Lisa managed to stop whimpering long enough to growl, "Thank you, Captain."  
  
Rachelle snorted, "Yeah, right. We've been carried away by masked assassins, bent on the destruction of the OSA. Sure."  
  
"Um, Rache, I think assassins are the last thing we should be worrying about..." The tremor in Abbie's voice told Lisa and Kellie that she too had gotten her eyes working.  
  
"Someone should tell Osama to turn up the heat." Rachelle grumbled sarcastically.  
  
"Rachelle, just open your eyes already." Kellie growled, sounding angrier then she had a moment before, and a good deal more miserable. The resulting look on Rachelle's face as she complied would have made Abbie and Kellie laugh any other time. Now, however, they could only sit, shiver, and try not to be sick. Lisa continued to moan between bouts of shivering.  
  
"Where are we?" Rachelle's voice sounded somewhere between disbelief, confusion, and misery.  
  
No one answered her. No one could, as a new pain added itself to the already growing list of aches and pains the girls were feeling. The sky spun before their eyes and the whole mountain seemed to lurch under them as the new pain assaulted them. Rachelle groaned, wrapping her arms around her knees as she rolled back into the snow. She rolled onto her side, curled in the fetal position. Abbie, still lying in the snow, cried out, covering both ears as if to silence the pain. Lisa gave a sort of half sob, falling onto her back, her arms reaching up to shelter her head. With a curse, Kellie ripped at her shoes, trying to get them off. After fumbling for a moment, the shoes came free, and with a feeble throw, she tossed them away from her. The first landed near the ledge, and the second pushed it over, sending both of them off the mountain. Kellie only clutched at her pain-ridden feet, the shoes forgotten.  
  
Kellie was the first to wake the second time round. Confused, disoriented, and still very cold, but otherwise feeling somewhat better, she sat up slowly. Snow slid off of her, and she wiped it from her eyes and face. All hope she had of her hair not being too badly messed up disappeared as she realized that it was all wet and matted to her head. She cursed. She hadn't brought enough hair gel for the fix up she was going to need to get her spiky hair back to normal.  
  
The cold, wet girl glanced around miserably. They were still on the mountain, and it was still snowing. That much hadn't changed. Now, however, the snow covered the curled up masses that had to be the other members of the OSA. One of them moved, groaned, and sat up, some of the snow falling away in a mini avalanche, revealing some of Rachelle, her lips blue and her teeth chattering.  
  
"Wow, I feel small -er." She managed, glancing at their surroundings. "What the heck was that all about?" Finally focusing on Kellie as her vision stopped spinning.  
  
"How should I know?" Kellie brushed away some more snow and sighed, "What do you think happened? How'd we get here?"  
  
Rachelle shrugged, "Don't remember. My brain is still throbbing. Thinking, at this point, is dangerous."  
  
"Mine too," Kellie complained, trying to rub her temples with her cold-stiffened fingers with little success. "Well, I only remember walking through your marshes...and...a log."  
  
Rachelle blinked. "A log?" Kellie shrugged. "Go figure...I guess I do remember the marshes now...yeah. Very cold..."  
  
"Uh huh. You're a quick one...You do remember the log, right?"  
  
"Um...no..." she frowned, "Oh wait - yes I do. You tipped it!"  
  
"Excuse me? I didn't tip anything. That log was pushed."  
  
"By you jumping on it like you were on a freaking trampoline!"  
  
"Something screwed you memory up all right. We were walking across it when it felt like it got jabbed by something. Then we fell through the ice..."  
  
"Nothing lives in my mud puddles, Kel." Rachelle said, exasperation in her voice. "You knocked us over."  
  
"No, I didn't!"  
  
"Yes, you did!"  
  
"Fine! Whatever! I understand...you hit your head harder then mine, I guess. With the combination of that and your natural blondness, you memory will of course be wrong."  
  
"I decide to take offence to that!"  
  
"More power to you," Kellie said, calming down a bit. "How did we get here? Where is here?"  
  
Rachelle shrugged, "I wouldn't know. I'm blonde, remember?"  
  
Kellie growled, "Pretend you're not for a while! Why are we not in your swamps anymore?'  
  
There was a moan, and another mound of snow shifted and sat up. "Abbie broke through the rotten part of that stick and we fell into the swamp." The mound squeaked as it realized it was still on the edge of the ledge. Lisa began to whimper again, and, with an exasperated sigh, Rachelle reached over and pulled the girl away from the edge. Breathing hard, Lisa starred at the edge as if it were going to jump up and bite her any second.  
  
"This isn't the swamp," she managed to get out as she regained some of what little composer she possessed. She glanced at her friends, only to find them already starring at her in horror. "What is it?" No answer, and Lisa felt her heart pound in her chest and the hair on the back of her neck rise. "What's on me?" She shrieked, hands flailing, "A spider? Where? How big is it? Get it off me!" Kellie shook her head impatiently and pointed at her, eyes wide. "Well, then what is it?!" Lisa yelled.  
  
Rachelle stood up, took a step toward her friend, and grabbed a handful of hair, giving it a sharp tug. Lisa screeched, "Leggo!" She smacked at Rachelle's hand and pushed away from her. After a moment of smoothing her hair out again, she looked up at the other girl, a retort ready. It died in her throat as her eyes widened and her jaw dropped.  
  
"You'll catch flies that way, you know." Rachelle smirked. She started to say something, and stopped. "What?"  
  
"You're short!" Abbie squeaked from behind her. The girl had been wakened by Lisa's insane shrieking.  
  
Rachelle's face fell, crushed. "Excuse me?" She spat. "I'm short? Well, thanks for the analysis, Sherlock. I'll be sure to go cry about that one."  
  
"No, she means shorter!" Kellie cried. "I mean, extremely short. Look at you!" She stood, still starring.  
  
Rachelle fought the urge to roll her eyes. "It's just because we're surrounded by extremely tall mountains and stuff. You don't look too lofty yourself."  
  
"I'm taller then you are!"  
  
"Abbie, you and Lisa have always been taller then me!"  
  
"I mean tall-er!" She stood and went to stand beside her shorter friend. She now towered over the girl, who stood with the snow nearly to her hips. To Abbie, the snow merely came up to her knees, while Rachelle's head was a little above her own hips.  
  
Rachelle's jaw dropped. "That is NOT your hip. I am not starring your hip in the face!  
  
"Well, you are!"  
  
"What's wrong with you guys? You're all stumpy...and you're hair..." Lisa' couldn't stop starring at her short friends.  
  
"What about my hair?" Rachelle asked, her expression daring Lisa to continue.  
  
"It's darker...and curlier." Kellie answered instead.  
  
Rachelle glanced back at her friend, "So is yours."  
  
"My hair is curly?" Kellie asked in a dead-like voice.  
  
"Yup, short and curly. It's all matted to your head, but I can still tell."  
  
"What? No!" Kellie groped for the ends of her hair, and whined as she discovered that it was no longer short and spiky, but chin-length and curly. "No! Oh, great! What the hell is happening here? I don't mind being short...I mean, I've been short all my life, so I'm used to it. But when my hair starts -"  
  
"I thought you liked your hair cropped short." Rachelle interrupted.  
  
"Not curly!"  
  
"Oh, come on." Lisa said, "It looks cute!"  
  
"Cute!" Kellie shrieked. "Cute? That's why I cut it in the first place! I strived to distance myself from that kind of cute!"  
  
"Stop having a brain aneurysm," Rachelle growled. "I would hate to know what you though about my hair. It's normally curly."  
  
"But that's your style! You don't care if it looks a mess..."  
  
Rachelle's eyes narrowed.  
  
"No, I didn't mean that!" Kellie screeched, trying to save herself. "You usually straighten it...its okay. But my style is totally different from yours."  
  
"Okay, we are lost in an unknown territory with mountains the size of Mount Everest, ourselves the height of a fruit bush and those two the height of redwoods and you are still on about the way your hair looks?"  
  
"Wait, who said I'm any taller?" Lisa asked, looking confused. She stood, glancing down at herself. Her eyes widened. "You guys -"  
  
"That's what I was trying to tell you earlier, before you decided to freak out, Lisa. You're ears are all pointy, and even with you sitting down you just looked...taller." Kellie shrugged it off.  
  
"You guys -" Abbie started, glancing down at herself as well.  
  
"My ears are pointy?! Are you serious!?" Lisa reached up to touch her ears with a shriek, which she immediately regretted. Abbie winced, covering her own ears. That hurt. But after a moment, the pain let up and Lisa went back to touching her strangely pointed ears, awe in her eyes.  
  
Abbie tried again, "You guys. Look at your clothes. They aren't what we had on when we went outside this morning."  
  
Kellie examined herself, "What the hell is this?" She tugged at the dress she was wearing. "This is not my hoodie! Where the hell is my hoodie?!"  
  
Lisa starred at her own dress in awe. "Dude. This looks...medieval. I am so wearing this to the Renaissance Faire...And check out the cloak! I've always wanted a cloak!" She nearly squealed with delight, twirling around in a small circle. She stumbled on the hem of the gray cloak and almost toppled over.  
  
Rachelle was starring at her own dress, brow furrowed. "This is really weird. They don't even make dresses like this anymore, do they?"  
  
Kellie glowered, "My dress, and yours, look like something off of Little House on the Prairie or something."  
  
"It's...Hobbit-ish."  
  
"Well, that's fitting. You both are short like Hobbits, you have Hobbit hair, and now you have perfect Hobbit dresses. Enjoy gardening and raising a million and a half Hobbit kids!" Lisa smirked.  
  
Kellie made to kick her, and stopped mid-kick, eyes wide. She almost fell, but Abbie caught her, her own eyes wide. "Oh. My. God." Kellie whispered, "I think I'm having an allergic reaction." Rachelle lifted her own foot out of the snow and examined it. It was exactly the same way.  
  
Both girls' feet had swelled two times their normal sizes, and now sported masses of thick hair that grew and curled on the tops and toes of their feet. Rachelle screamed in shock.  
  
"Ahh!" she cried. "Nasty! That's no allergic reaction! Oh, ew! Look at my feet!"  
  
However, Kellie was starring at her feet as if it was the most wondrous thing she had ever seen. She kept her eyes fixed on the thick fur now surrounding the tops of her extremely thick feet. She didn't even hear Rachelle rant on.  
  
"So now not only am I in competition with Minime, my beautiful feet are...are...are crusty!"  
  
"Rachelle," Kellie whispered, still half in her trance. "Rachelle."  
  
"What? Oh, look at this! And I don't even have a razor either! Help me look for a sharp rock. That should do it..."  
  
"Rache," Kellie repeated, more forcefully this time. Lisa enforced it by pushing the ranting girl over into the snow. Kellie continued on before she could continue fuming, "Our feet."  
  
"Yes. Feet. Hairy." Rachelle muttered, glaring at Lisa. "I know, now your head hair and your feet hair are extremely curly. But don't worry. As soon as we find a sharp rock and a -"  
  
"Rachelle, look at your feet!" Kellie yelled, "What do they look like?"  
  
Rachelle blinked. "Extremely disgusting? Come on, it's grossing me out."  
  
"No! Don't you get it? We are in some strange land, extremely short - or tall, in their cases - and have thick and hairy feet - or pointy ears. What have we been joking about all this time?"  
  
Lisa and Abbie squealed, barely containing themselves. Rachelle glared at them, "You mean that we've been kidnapped by assassins out to destroy the OSA?" She paused, catching Kellie's excited gaze, "You don't mean....we couldn't have...but I'm short....my feet are...no. Impossible."  
  
Kellie burst out laughing, "We found it! We found the portal to Middle Earth!"  
  
Lisa and Abbie cheered in unison, and, no longer able to contain it, jumped up and down, laughing.  
  
"Wait!" Rachelle said, before jumping to conclusions like her exceptionally short - and tall - friends. "Middle Earth? That was just some joke! We didn't find the patrol. We fell into a mud puddle and banged our heads on the log we fell off of. Or maybe we were kidnapped!"  
  
"Yeah, and we had some weird reaction to our kidnapper's cologne!" Abbie muttered, exasperated now. "Rachelle, face it, you're a Hobbit! I'm an Elf!"  
  
As if their aches and pains had melted away, the three friends danced around as best as they could on the ledge. It stopped almost immediately as they realized how cold they were, and how far the drop was.  
  
Rachelle sat down, blinking rapidly. The other girls sat as well, grins on their faces. "Why would someone put the portal to Middle Earth in my back yard?" she asked, half in wonderment, half fearful.  
  
Kellie shook her curly redhead, still smiling, "Why does it matter? We're here now!"  
  
Rachelle slowly shook her head, "Yeah, joy. All happy freaking dandy," she spat. "You're forgetting a couple of small, minute details. Sauron. The Black Riders. Do you even remember what you saw in the movie? Who knows where we are in the scheme of the things! The Black Gate thingamabob could be just around the bend - with those crossbred whatchmacallits. Dang. I wish I got that far in the books...I was only in the middle of the Fellowship."  
  
Kellie shrugged, "I was only in the Hobbit!"  
  
Lisa smirked, "You mean the Black Gate of Mordor, right? And the Uruk Hi? Those are definitely not nearby. Have you taken a look around recently? We're on the mountain. The one the Fellowship climbs in the first movie. What's it called?" She glanced at Abbie.  
  
"Caradhras?" The girl volunteered.  
  
"Yup, that's the one." Lisa nodded. The two Hobbits starred at their friends, shocked. Lisa shrugged, "I read the trilogy after the Fellowship came out. Ditto for the Hobbit."  
  
"Same here." Abbie glanced around. "Now where do you suppose our things went? I had a bag of Doritos in there..."  
  
"I don't see them. Prolly buried under the snow somewhere. We'll find them later." Lisa brushed it off, wrapping her cloak around her and glanced at her friends. "What we need now are names."  
  
Kellie frowned, "What? Why?"  
  
"Well, we can't just wander all over Middle Earth calling ourselves non-Middle Earthian names! Do you remember what your names on were? Those should work as good aliases, don't you think?"  
  
"I'm Rosa, I think. From Pincup." Rachelle offered.  
  
Lisa nodded sagely, "Good, stick with that. Kellie?"  
  
"Amarantha. Also from Pincup."  
  
"Perfect. Abbie?"  
  
"I'm Gwanedhel."  
  
"Oh, that's a pretty one, Abbie!" Lisa grinned, "And I'm Imlossiel."  
  
"And I'm cold." Rachelle grumbled, wrapping herself up in her cloak before she hunkered down next to Kellie. "Now what."  
  
Silence.  
  
"I suppose," Abbie said slowly, "we need to get off this mountain."  
  
"Well, duh. We knew that. How are we going to get past that mountain of snow?"  
  
"Kellie, that isn't a mountain of snow. Only a big drift. Once we could easily carry both of you Hobbit lasses over," Lisa clarified with a smirk.  
  
Kellie stuck her tongue out at her Elven friend and appeared to disappear in the folds of her cloak. Lisa hit her with a snowball, which resulted in a curse from within the cloak and a snowball flying at the Elf. It hit the girl's shoulder, and she pouted for a second before reaching for another snowball. This one missed, hitting Rachelle instead. Abbie snickered at the look on her face as she whipped the snow from her face and sent a snowball soaring. The resulting 'Oof' was neither female nor particularly human, and the jaws of the OSA members dropped all at once. 


End file.
